Im sorry to say its not so much like Drew Barrymores experience in Riding in Cars with Boys. Nonetheless, its an experience. Especially here in India. If my post about surviving a rickshaw ride wasnt vivid enough, just try and picture that on a motorcycle. In the past 2 days, I lost 5 years of my life getting rides to work.
So the back story:
My boss's brother works in the office and drives me half way to work in the morning. This typically takes place in a car. So yesterday, I was waiting in the usual spot, trying not to look like a street walker and fend off the rickshaws that inevitably pull over to me because Im not Indian. There I am, contently watching cows walk by and little kids on their way to school while I wait. Out of nowhere, a motorcycle pulls up and Im giving it this stare like why is it stopping while simultaneously looking past it to spot the car Im used to jumping into. Kind of how I am simultaneously watching a HUGE spider crawl on my wall, type this post, and decide if I should kill it.
Digression: Ive been watching this spider for literally the past half hour and its too big for me to want to kill because it will crunch and be gross and scary. Im deciding to pretend its not there and will magically go away.
Back to the story:
My boss is really on something that is more like a black vespa/moped but whatever all the same to me at this point. All Im thinking is COOOL! and jump on like a normal person sits on a bike. Were on our way to work and then I see all these women in saris sitting sideways and think to myself, way to go Chelsea, sitting like a man and probably making my boss's brother uncomfortable by not having the demure foresight to know how to get on a scooter. Since he is probably around 50, he wasnt going too fast and I was just smiling thinking check, one more thing done in India that Ive wanted to do.
Until this morning. When I got a ride to the spot where I meet my boss's brother instead of taking the bus. A masters student rides by me, stops asks where Im going, tells his friend to get off, and I am told go get on. My hesitation lasted about 5 minutes. Ok really, like 45 seconds, but it felt like 5. But hesitation and COOL turned into oh shit, and me praying I didnt pee my pants because he was going relatively fast.
This, my friends, was a real motorcycle. Real like it was NOT a scooter. But still not a Harley if you get my drift. It is India, after all. But still.
Zooming (even if it wasnt, it felt like it) down the streets on what is most definitely a legit motorcycle with a twenty something year old driver who, was probably, happier than ever to have me on his bike instead of his male friend is scary as shit. My hands were holding onto the bike for dear life while we passed buses that were too close for comfort. At the same time, I was trying to keep my distance from him too because after all, its India, and boy-girl contact in that way might be taken the wrong way. And thats NOT something I wanted to take a chance on.
The whole way I was just looking for signs and landmarks that told me I was almost there and would make it safely to the ground again. When we were there, I had what felt like the walk of shame off the motorcycle with tradition Indian grandmothers staring at me with the look of where did she come from and why was she getting a ride on his bike face.
Of course, after all this I made my way to my coffee spot (mine because Im the only one there at 9am and am now on a first name basis [instead of madam] with the one person who works there) to reflect on what just happened. And by reflect, just repeatedly think I cant believe that just happened and thank god it was before I had my caffeine fix of the morning because if I had, I probably would have actually peed my pants like a scared dog. Thats one uncomfortable situation I would like to never have the chance of experiencing.
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